The Truth About Rejection and Failure
Ah, yes. Those two words, “rejection” and “failure”. The causes of many nights of sadness, self-doubt, and deep thoughts about whether or not what you’re trying to do with your life is the right thing to do.
Sure, lots of people like to say, “Just get through it. Don’t give up.” And then you think, “It’s not that simple.” You think those people trying to tell you to persevere and go for your dreams don’t get what you’re going through.
And maybe you’re right. Times have changed. Technology has advanced exponentially since the baby boomer generation. However, those same people telling you to keep their heads up have gone through many of the same rejections and failures that you have.
Sense of Entitlement
I like to think that everyone has enough power to make an impact on the world if they so wished. However, I feel that many things have made us unrealistic about what we can achieve.
Participation trophies are a prime example of that. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Sigh. This tired argument. But it does give that sense of, “Well since I tried, I should get a reward for that.” It sets up the false hope that we will be given something for our efforts automatically without fail. We have been trained with this way of thinking, and we’re training children now that they are entitled to anything if they try hard enough.
A great example of this is in sports when in a football tournament, the last place team gets a trophy for just being in the game, even though they may have gotten squashed in a game with the score being 59–10.
But what if they fail? That kind of award doesn’t translate to how life works, as sad as that fact may be. And it sure doesn’t help children find ways to cope with rejection and failure for when they get older.
We create this sense of entitlement, that we are owed success for trying, even though life doesn’t frankly care if we tried.
For example, I applied for a job a couple of months back that was about 45 minutes away from my home but would pay me $45,000 a year. It didn’t require much experience, and I thought I had the chance to get it. I went through first, second, and third interviews, went on a routine ride-along with an employee while asking questions, and interviewed with one of the area managers of the business.
I didn’t get the job, and I didn’t get compensated for my troubles. I got angry about it. I put forth the effort to apply, went through all the hoops, and drove to the job site twice to meet the employees and interview with the managers. But all I got in return was, “While we’re impressed with your experience, you didn’t quite fit our needs.”
Oh well. Life was passing me by. I had to accept the facts and move on.
Unrealistic Expectations
Now with that being said, I think there is something that is less talked about but gives more of an issue. We see extraordinary people, people greater than one in a million, that achieve greatness unlike anybody else. And that gives us grounds to make unrealistic expectations for what we could do.
I’m 21 going on 22, and I’ve felt like a failure all my life. I couldn’t afford to stay a third year in college, and I’m struggling to get a job that pays enough for me to cover my expenses. But I’ve idolized so many greats around my age that I feel like I am a true failure.
After all, there are many people I could name off the top of my head that have achieved goals some would seem impossible. Kyler Murray entered the NFL as a star college quarterback, and he just turned 22. Michael Phelps was making his gold medal wins look easy, with a world record in his Olympic debut in Athens (at the age of 19, no less). I looked back on my life thinking, “What have I done?”
But I realized something. I was trying to shoot for the moon with a harpoon that could only go ten feet in the air.
You see, we often forget the backstory behind these people. Michael Phelps may have been a gifted swimmer, but he didn’t just suddenly make it to the top with his talent. He worked hard to be the world-record swimmer that he is. And though Kyler Murray could either choose baseball or football as his career since he was naturally talented in both, he also worked hard to get to where he is today.
Heck, J.K. Rowling was a single mother on government benefits before she released the first book in her historic and record-breaking Harry Potter series, which didn’t get published until she was in her early 30s. It took her years of plotting, hard work, and at least a dozen rejections from publishers across the United Kingdom to get her story on library bookshelves.
Pressures to Succeed
We’re very much pressured by society to get to work and succeed in our endeavors straightaway. The thing we often forget is just how hard life is. With a video game, you could give up and face no consequences, trying the game again tomorrow. In life, we can’t do that. We must get up despite our failures and keep going.
That’s why many people like to take the option of going for the best job on the market, taking the schooling necessary to get the job. But after ten applications and still getting rejected, that student loan debt stings a little bit more than it usually does. Then when they get the job, they feel happy…for a time.
I don’t even need to tell you about how many people have felt depressed going on that path. I’m sure you’ve heard about it in some way. I felt depressed at times going down the path I felt was best for me going to college. It took me spending almost $20,000 a year in student loans and still not being able to attend for me to realize that college just wasn’t going to do it for me, at least for right now.
Many people don’t have that luxury. Some people hear the pressure to succeed and go for that “good” 9–5 job instead of being stuck doing 12-hour jobs in the warehouse or factory. They often neglect that inner voice that says to them, “Maybe this isn’t what you should be doing.” In the end, they are successful monetarily, but they don’t feel like they have done much aside from that. They want more from life than what they are experiencing.
Making Your Own Path is Hard
Quite often, making your own path is like breaking the status quo. Needless to say, doing a 9–5 job isn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea. Before, that used to be the boomer generation’s dream, but now it’s become a nightmare for many millennials.
On the flip side, chasing a dream of yours and taking that chance is like investing heavy amounts of money into a very unstable stock market. It can be very high risk, very high reward. Many people don’t like playing hardball and would rather stay safe than risk it. And it’s understandable. When you have people stating that you are making a dumb decision, saying you’re a failure, or shaming you for not being happy with your current position in life, it’s not easy to take that dive into the deep end.
In taking control of your life, you’re also going to have failures. You’re going to face harsh criticism, rejections, and you’re going to feel like you’re going nowhere.
And therein lies the grind of the hustle. Once you get to the light at the end of the tunnel, the reward will be that much sweeter.
Conclusion
The workforce is changing. We’re transferring from a traditional 9-to-5 workplace to the self-employment and gig economy. It’s easier than ever to start your own business, side hustle, or gig.
However, it may be harder than ever to take the jump, what with all the noise of your family and peers mocking you for chasing your dreams, the saturation of the market, and the stakes never being higher with rising costs of living and job stability being a thing of the past.
So what should you do? Do you mind the 9-to-5 grind in exchange for financial security, or do you want to take on the responsibility of taking on a dream with all the good and bad that comes along with it? Should you be content with a stable life, or risk it all to chase a dream that you’ve wanted to pursue since you were little?
At the end of the day, it’s your life. Do what you want with it.
