New Report: One of the Referees in Green Bay-Detroit Game May Have Actually Been a Packers Player in Disguise
After a game where the Detroit Lions got screwed over by the referees harder than a recently divorced father in family court, rumors have surfaced that said refs were actually paid off by Green Bay Packers President Mark Murphy to secure the win in case the organization’s trophy wife Aaron Rodgers decided to play like pure shit and the wide receivers couldn’t catch a cold.
However, another exclusive report from a generic sports organization has surfaced. It turns out that the refs weren’t paid off. It may have been a different kind of inside job! One of the players on the Packers’ practice squad could have pulled the operation of a lifetime and disguised himself as a referee!
Who was the culprit?
There are many suspects on the Packers’ practice squad at the moment. The prime suspect is Evan Baylis, a tight end who was part of the Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, and the Carolina Panthers before settling into Green Bay last year.
The reason he is the prime suspect in this pernicious caper is because his physical description fits almost perfectly with one of the referees seen on the field last night. Tall at 6' 5", lengthy, beefy, and a smile that could charm even the most suspecting person into making abysmal calls and blinding them from seeing pass interference penalties and thirteen men on the field for Green Bay.
However, other suspects include practice squad members James Looney, Brady Shelton, and Manny Wilkins. There are even reports floating around that former Packers miracle worker-turned-backup quarterback Matt Flynn may have had a hand in this affair.
Responses from the teams and the NFL Commissioner on the matter
Aaron Rodgers was reportedly “shocked” at the claims that anyone on his team would dress up as a referee, even though he said himself that last night’s win “didn’t feel like a win”. However, when asked to give a phone interview, he was reportedly too busy getting his exhaust pipe shafted by new girlfriend and former NASCAR driver Danica Patrick to oblige.
When Lions defensive tackle Trey Flowers heard about the news, he allegedly made a tweet saying, “Well, no wonder I got called twice for some weak-ass ‘illegal hands to the face @NFL’.” Sadly, no screenshot of said tweet has surfaced.
People tried to ask Roger Goodell about what precautionary measures he could take to look into the matter, but many workers at the NFL HQ said that he was “locked up in his office” and was “too busy praying in his shrine scattered with pictures of Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady” to answer.
All jokes aside…
The NFL has now turned into a league where if you touch certain people (like Tom Brady), you will get called for “roughing the passer” as was seen on national TV in the AFC Championship game last season, where the New England Patriots got a win at Arrowhead Stadium in OT against the Kansas City Chiefs after said call.
Now, America got to see so many blatantly bad calls and non-calls go against the Detroit Lions (who have already been the NFC North’s bitch for so long) in a game where Aaron Rodgers could barely hit the broad side of a barn for most of the first half. And you wonder why people don’t really care for the league right now.
Also, this little picture below showing the end of the game with the referee making the “Lambeau leap” makes this game, the soon-to-be infamous “Lambeau Screwjob”, look that much more rigged and sting for the Lions faithful that much more. (This is coming from a diehard Vikings fan, by the way.) And all jokes aside, this isn’t a good look for the National Football League as a whole.
